Perfectly unremarkable

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Posted by RedMarlin - April 4th, 2021

They say consistency is the best thing you can do to keep yourself in the limelight. Unfortunately, trying to maintain a consistent schedule with art and posting whilst simultaneously trying to stay upright on this lovely little treadmill called life is quite difficult. I don't know how others do it.

I've been back to full time for a while now, which unfortunately means my output has slowed down again. Last year at this time we were locked down and my hours were being cut, so I could easily make a piece a month, but it's been almost two months since my last completed piece. And traditional art takes longer too, which only makes the pace slower. It's worth it though, to have something tangible. I've come to appreciate that about it.

Work has been stressful, not just for me but for everyone there. In a dark sort of way that's kind of comforting, but having your face held in a fire is still having your face held in a fire. If I really wanted to I could probably get away with quitting my job and living off savings for around a year while pushing my art more, but I don't want to sell on my investments to do that and who knows how well that would really work. I'm enjoying these color pencils a lot and I have hopes of selling physical illustrations in the near future, but of course right as I decide to make that part of my life's plan there comes a fad where digital art is suddenly all the rage to put a barcode on and sell. If I could have three wishes from a genie, one of them would be foresight.

The chemo medication is working thus far and my blood tests have all been looking good. We find out this week if I pass the 3-month checkpoint, which is one of three points over the next year before I can be declared in remission. It's weird to think there's a medicine I have to take every day of my life now because I'll die if I don't.

Mental health has still been up and down. It's more a matter of external factors than internal, I feel. But having some personal goals for the near future has been helping. I try to remind myself that what I'm doing is supposed to be fun, but sometimes it's not easy.

I doubt people read these but it's nice to just shout things into the open. I don't really care who knows at this point.


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