My boss feels like I'm not putting enough effort into my work. He says I'm not as enthusiastic about certain projects as I am with others. I don't know what's good enough for him. I don't know what's good enough for me.

I feel a vast emptiness. All I wanted to do tonight was work on that SPNATI painting because the internal pressure has built up so much. I feel like a festering sore. I feel like I want to cry but nothing comes out. I can't work on art but I feel I don't deserve rest or recreation. I don't know what to do.