View Profile RedMarlin


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Posted by RedMarlin - August 19th, 2019

I have no image to post today because I could not do anything. I tried. I'm so frustrated.

I'm frustrated because I can't do anything right and then I can't do anything right because I'm frustrated. It's a problem that makes itself worse.

I feel like I have no time ever to do all the things I want to do. I either have to give up working on art or give up taking care of myself or my living space, etc. etc. Can't work on art because I have to cook. Can't work on art because I have to clean. Can't work on art because I have to go to the gym. Can't work on art because I have to work, work, work, work at my job, every day, why is it that some people seem to just materialize into the job they want to do, somehow, and I'm nearing 30 still lost in that rat race? Is this what I'm destined to be? Is this it?

I feel like I can't let myself relax when I get home. I get mad at myself when I spend too much time goofing off, and then I'm too mad to properly work on things which makes me even madder. Not to mention my computer's starting to severely slow down because of how big this file's become and I can't afford to build or buy a new one right now.

I don't get how I can be so happy and so unhappy at the same time.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow.


Comments (1)

before i had more responsibilities, i had the time to draw or pursue the things that interested me, but i didnt either because i was too lazy, without motivation, or discouraged from drawing because of my skill. doing nothing had no impact or consequence because i had nothing to look forward to tomorrow

when i started to live more day to day, I came to appreciate the amount of time i do have to myself and it helped with my relationship towards art, among other things. i dont feel as frustrated or restless as i did before, when i slept most of the day and felt trapped. i dont regret getting up early yesterday or today, because its largely in the past and it was beneficial.

while this may not apply to you, i dont think you cant accurately compare yourself to others especially in a creative realm like artwork, your age is a static counter, using it as a comparison with others achievements doesnt take into account all the other things that contribute to a career in art, oftentimes i see art that blows me away when i find out the age of the artist, i put myself in their shoes but nobody has the same experiences.

i had something to do too but i wanted to write this out because i could relate to you recently

Thank you. I'll try to keep your advice in mind.